((((((Wish)))))),

After my brother died -- a long-long time ago -- I just could not cry.

I was freezing myself so that I wouldn't feel the pain. I couldn't FEEL anything.

A wonderful young therapist sat with me on the floor in a very quiet, darkened room and taught me something. He taught me how to BREATHE DEEPLY. How to fill my beautiful pink lungs with AIR -- feel them filling. G-d gave you those beautiful, pink lungs TO USE ... to fill with air ... to celebrate the fact that you are alive ... to feel the joy in being alive.

Try it, sugar. You'll cry. The answer will come to you. Don't try to force yourself to make a decision -- just let the decision come to you in the quiet spaces.

BIG HUGS (and love).

Barb