Quote:
Originally Posted by Susanne C.
A counselor can be the same as a psychiatrist, but that wasn't exactly what I meant. A psychologist, or priest, or just someone who is a friend and very good listener, who doesn't feel compelled to fix every problem (because they can't) but who can really be with you and support you in your grief.
What you are going through- a potentially deadly illness compounded by a painful neuropathic condition, is too much to handle on your own.
My husband is my only real confidant, and frankly he isn't too good at it sometimes. Men always want to either fix things or ignore them. This is okay because my condition is painful and progressive, but I am not in any danger. I probably should see a psychologist to help me cope with the losses and anxiety about the future, instead of expecting so much from him.
In your case I think it is much more urgent that you have someone to help you deal with the fear and grieving over the loss of control you are experiencing over your life. Even with scary diseases like cancer there is a ritual for it, support groups, a treatment protocol that everyone is somewhat familiar with, but what you have is rare and people just cannot know how lonely and frightening it is in the same way they would react to someone with cancer.
Just a wordy way of asking, do you feel heard and understood in your current situation, or would it be wise to talk to someone trained in grief counseling? If I were you I would feel scared and frustrated and need to vent.
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Dear Susanne,
Like you, my husband is my only (real) confidante and truest friend. He is very understanding and supportive of my condition. We discuss about what we researched on my condition. He probably understands my condition more than I do. i dont lack in understanding. in fact, that is only my consolation, having a husband a family who understand me. But this closeness somehow gives stress to him. It pains him knowing that I am uncomfortable. The little downside of my situation is -- my family support is "long distance". Most of them is back in my country
My closest family is in California, while I live in Florida. I have my best friend who also lives in the same area. We are very close but I could not ventilate my frustratioins to her because she is recovering from her Stage 4 breast cancer. Her recovery is another story...
Talking to a priest was my way of coping with the loss of my first husband. I was devastated -- both emotionally and financially -- having been sick for almost a year, in and out of the hospital (mostly in).
THis is another aspect that, if given the choice, I would not want my husband to go through -- who himself took care of her first wife due to a cancer. Now, you may be thinking --whew, what an experience.
Not only the fear Susanne but also the frustration. The frustration of wanting to do more but your body could not do it. We had plans of travelling in 2013, but we may have to contend ourselves with short distance trips. I never anticipated to be sick this early.
Thank you for reading....
This forum has been very helpful to me.