After about two weeks of this relapse they did an MRI on my brain and neck... I guess the problem stems from an active lesion on my neck; they have not done one of my spine. I am now seeing a MS specialist (supposedly the best in the area, of coarse he is in his mid 70s, and very blase in his attitude). My mother has been with me to all my appts, and puts her trust in what they say. I love her to death, but sometimes feel like she isn't being the best advocate, and I feel so crap all the time I just get angry. I really have no idea what is going on in my body; I get stressed and I smoke, which I know is not a good a thing, but the only thing from my old life I have left. Just so frustrated at not feeling I have any power at all (at least I can sorta type now without having to look at the keyboard and hunt and peck to)...So yes, I see some improvements (some very big ones, ) but the pain is just so bad I cannot get my head around it, it is all I think about and it is effecting me getting better... I just want it gone, or at least controlled in some way. Supposedly the gal who called to confirm mt appt. for my infusion is having a nurse call back later, (she was of no help yesterday... he docs office hasn't even filled out the paperwork for my medical leave from work which was due 10 days ago... so now I am scared I will lose me job, even if I do get better from this ; and I love my job). Everything is just horrible. I have no idea what to say to the nurse if she calls back, and likely she will tell me there is no more to be done, and we have to wait and see what happens with the Tysabri. This wait and see attitude is driving me mad... I am a take action type of girl... I always take action.

Also,as an English major, all these typos I am making is driving me crazy... I am not 40 grand in debt for my college education to make stupid typing mistakes... God, this whole is insane making.