Dear Butterfly

i am reminded by Mari's post, that years ago, i used to be literally paralyzed over choices, say between brands of the same item... it's a similar thing to the grapes, except i did not resolve the problem by buying all three. i used to just stand there... i'd get more and more anxious until i actually got a stomach ache. then i'd have to walk away... for a while... come back when i felt better. eventually i'd get frustrated and just grab the first thing and figure if they were the same it didn't matter. if i didn't like it i'd try the other next time.

at one point when i was pretty young maybe 10 or 11 i linked the bouts of anxiety with the decisional process.

i found a way to resolve that kind of anxiety at that time. i had to stop trying to decide, find a small round circle and stare at it for a few minutes. it could be part of the environment or i could draw one on a piece of paper.

in restaurants.... when i am good and up, the impulsivity often gets the better of me, period. However, if i am level-headed and want to change my mind or just feel like i can't decide when the waiter i tend towards this paralytic mode. I've learned to make a "default choice" under my belt for when the waiter comes. Then i still consider other choices. If i have to order and am undecided i go with the default choice. THE RATIONALE is, "next time i come here i can order one of my other picks," (similar to Mari's, "hair grows.")

so perhaps it would help to ask yourself, when you get stuck like that, ok, to what extent is buying a or b or c going to change my life? and what about the time i spend standing there, or, or money i spend buying triples? if you are in a state of agitation, perhaps a relaxation technique that works for you might calm you enough so you can do the self-dialog bit.

just more thoughts.

~ waves ~