Thank you all for the posts and kind thoughts. (and pretty poems l84dnr ) Don't worry, I'm not in any real danger from myself. As long as I never think about the past, present, or future, I can manage to make it through the day. I'm just so tired. I'm not looking for meaning or fulfilment in life, I'm just trying to caost to the finish with as little effort as possible, because nothing I can do is worth the energy of doing it. Even posting here just takes sooooo much time and effort, even for these little posts. It's hard to do anything at all.

There is no joy in my life. Nothing that I want to do or accomplish Nothing to look forward to and give me energy. Nothing that can get me out of bed in the morning. I honestly don't know how other people find things to do for fun, none of the things they do seem at all appealing to me. What kind of life could I possibly find with that attitude?

I'm just hoping to get lucky and die soon so I don't have to trudge through another several decades of joylessness.