I know what you mean. I never know what's going to happen next emotionally. This fear thing is the absolute pits. It drives my OCD. I have felt all kinds of emotional states,feeling stress in my body,and feeling like I'm going to loose everything,and die. I've felt rejected,abandoned,paranoid,and isolated. Then I feel better after a period of time where I've been scared out of my wits. I never know when a panic is going to make my world go/feel upside down. The fear emotional state feels like I'm going to loose this,that,and the other. I don't know what to do about it. I never have. No one knows what this is.

We do feel trapped. If there is a question about not getting enough support,it's a sinking feeling that is very painful. I hope that they come up with new treatments,and new medications in the near future.

All I'm doing now is trying to survive,and make it from one day to another. I don't know what the future holds. The News is talking about this fiscal cliff.
I hope that I don't loose my state support system after the first of the year. I just don't know.

I've made it this far,and it's been extremely difficult. If "normal" people who knew what we actually go though,they might cut us a little slack. BF