Lesmom, I am sorry you are going through all of this. It is a difficult road to travel, but it is possible to find your way. The biggest suggestion I would give is to be easy on yourself! Did you know it takes an average of 18 months for our psyches to process a major event such as diagnosis, loss of loved one or relationship, etc? It is very much a process, and you can expect all kinds of emotions to arise during the transition.

I am not saying that at the end of 18 months you will be A-OK, but in the meantime, try to be gentle, and learn and do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel more empowered. As time goes on, you will probably feel less like you've "been kicked by a mule" and more simply annoyed or even resigned to the particular ways this disease is going to treat you.

I hope this helps. Keep posting!