Hey Guys and Gals,

I have some serious questions and some of it I don't quite know how to ask and I honestly didn't know where this should go!

I decided to ask you guys here because I am sure many of you know how this stuff can be. I posted here a month ago about my condition and the responses I got (I don't mean this to sound weird) made me feel cared for like family.

Also, I have tried to ask my friends and get either one extreme or the other, such as - the typical response from a guy, "Just watch ****" or some other crap answer.

A few months ago I signed up for a regular dating site and I met a wonderful lady who I fell in love with she was beautiful inside and out. She was a breast cancer survivor, my type (mind and body) and what I would choose as my ideal partner and we started dating. Everything was (I thought great) the last week she started her finals (she went back to school) and I didn't get to see her much and then over this past weekend, she was put in the hospital for a few days (I lost contact with her). Finally her friend sent me a message on FB saying that she was ok and would talk to me when she got home, so the next day, I went to see her and it was just different I just thought well with everything going on, she is just a little overwhelmed.

Then last night, I got a Dear John letter - basically saying its me not you - I thought I was falling in love with you and I think I was just falling in love with the idea of being in love and it doesn't have anything to do with your health - but I still wanna be your friend thing.

I know its because of my health - Along with Spinal Accessory Nerve Palsy that is un-treatable, I was also diagnosed with TOS (with complications) and Long Thoracic Nerve Palsy. I have called, begged and pleaded with doctors all over the country and all have pretty much told me that because of the complexity and extremes that everyone of the disorders I have are - that there is nothing that can be done. I was also told that some of the complications are VERY life threatening. I am now have problems breathing, bathroom (#1 & #2) - sometimes I can't go or when I do - it takes forever - apparently I have damage in my brain that is not curable and I also have spinal cord and brain stem damage and to try to correct any of the issues could instantly kill me!

I know what is happening - my body is getting very tired and I can feel it. But I also know its not gonna happen tomorrow or the next day and I try to have the spirit of a warrior! I never have a frown on my face and to look at me most would not know the shape I am in. And I VERY much want to have someone to love who loves me and who can accept the good along with the bad and not just pretend that it doesn't bother them!!

Now here are where the questions come in:

1. For those of you dating or who have dated with a disability, how did you go about it? - I did Google search a few sites but they are scam sites or from all over the world and no one is from the US.

2. How do you go about filtering someone to see if they are dating material - I know that sounds horrible but I just can't go through this again - not even sure if I truly want to, I am thinking that with my health this bad that I might as well stay single.

3. How do you know what you are compatible with (I know this sounds really horrible and I am sorry - but I don't really know how to ask this one) - what I mean is say you find someone who is willing to date a disabled person or is disabled also, (first off, let me say sex is not on my top list of priorities - far from it actually but in any grown up relationship, this is a consideration) - how do you go about approaching that - the ONLY reason I am asking this is because things have changed apparently since I have been in the dating pool I guess - its like 3 dates and sex now apparently! - I know not everyone is like that but on most dating sites it seems to be the case.

4. How do you get into the issue of possible worsening of your condition or death with a potential mate you might meet.

Again, thank you so much for any advise you can offer.

I am also sorry if its hard to read - I don't really like talking about a few of those things. I think that kind of stuff is between a man and a women and for no one else but it is a consideration I have to take into account!