I would say I am at the end of my rope, but that was along time ago. I am waiting the decision on my remand hearing. I am 99% sure it will be denied again because of what the doctor that social security sent me to said. I don't know how to explain to our 12 year old that we have no money at all for Christmas. Let alone all the other bills we can't pay. If I was able to keep up my life insurance I would'nt be here. I go see my doctor tommorrow, he has put me on alot of different meds for my depression, with not much help. People say life goes on, but why. They say keep your head up, but why. I can't even go in public anymore, I have lost two teeth in the front, and I am so embarassed that someone will see. I am on morphine for my back pain and the only thing that it does is makes me constapated. My doctor wants me to got o the pain clinic, but I can't pay the 40 dollar co-pay. And the kids birthdays are the 24th and the 26th. aaaaaaa well thats some of my screwed up life.