Spine.....
I don't think you are being ungrateful. I think you are frustrated as hell.
There's alot to be frustrated about, I mean LOOK at all that you've been thru! Allow yourself to vent and take your frustrations out on us anytime! I probably would perceive the Santa thing the same way you are, despite their well-meaning. It's a bit over-the-top from the sounds of it.

You've got my prayers,
Always.

Rae