my life was normal in July on the way to due my clinical's for becoming a medic home schooling my babies an finally my marriage getting back to normal after battling cervical cancer was very close to family an friends then one day got sick had emergency brain sugary an my life went up side down again an lost my friends an family for being sick. i Due feel Blessed that for today im here with my kids but i wont lie im sick everyday an my heart breaks a little everyday they have given me an expectoration date an no understanding what is going on with me im having to make some hard decisions today one is due i have another brain sugary.. that might fix everything but i also might loss my life or just come out of it not able to live my life an to have eye sugary which there is a 50/50 chance ill become blind for once i wish my odds where better then 50/50 hell ill be happy with 60/40 lol but the hardest thing of all is how do i say goodbye to babies how do i make sure that they will know that mama will always be with them an love them..... its killing me just the thought of not being able to wipe my kids tears away hearing there sweet voice an holding them ........... or to be able to see them grow up to me amazing people the list goes on an on for what i will miss......an to add my mirage that i have lost it went from marring my best friend to living with a stranger, no matter how hard i try not to look or act sick in front of him he still looks at me with anger an acts like i have already lost the fight!im just so damn mad.. all i have left is Faith an Hope an some days even that runs short!!!