What to do what to do? How do you stop from going stark raving drooling mad? I just can’t take this anymore.

1) I’m freaked over money. Living on disability doesn’t pay near what I used to make. I’m not allowed to work, so why do I try to stay current with what’s going on (new laws etc.) I’m never going to work again.

2) My wife keeps telling me we are fine but we have bills etc that prevent living the way we used to. It’s affecting my ability to go to tournaments, etc.

3) I can hardly walk any more so going out for me is a trip to the doctor, rehab, maybe fencing, an occasional social event. Every day my wife goes to work, the boys go to school, the baby to day care, my daughter and son-in-law to work.

4) Excitement for me is I get to do the laundry, clean up the crap they leave laying around. I’m good for housekeeping. I came home from the tournament in Milwaukee and there are 7 loads of laundry. They waited for me to come home to do it. I could have done my own stuff. Then I’m told we are going to a progressive dinner that night that I knew nothing about.

5) Am still insanely angry at my former employer for putting me out to pasture

6) That brings up another good point. I am so tired of being talked around. I’m sitting right there, how about asking my opinion or just making sure I heard you?

Crap, there is so much other stuff with this. I don’t even know why I’m posting this. I’ve reached the point where I just don’t even want to get out of bed. Why? I would never hurt others or me but I don’t know what to do. I think I’ll go cry over things I can’t change.