SDFencer----Things will bet better ----be patient with yourself....dont take on to much just to please your family....I cant tell you a good man with a big heart you been thru so much medically how can you not suffer from depression and angrer...you wouldnt be normal if you didnt feel like that... heck I do and I havent been thru half as much( neck surgery and cancer) but it changed me as well. Just be true to you first --dont hide your feelings it makes us feel worse about ourselves. Im sorry your so down ...stress just makes things in our bodies go array!! Try to relax and let the holidays just happen without worrying about everyone.