Find something you like doing I'm told. It just happens that I chose an outrageously expensive sport. I fenced world class athletes a couple of weeks ago and I can only reach that stage if I practice several hours a day more than once a week. Of course most of my opponents were 1/2 my age.

I hate doing things at which I am no good. I almost hope my doctor tells me I'll hurt myself more if I keep fencing.

I just don’t feel like even fencing locally. I’m so tired by the end of the day it’s hard to drag myself to the club to fence. I like the people but I hate being humiliated all the time in a tournament. There’s a player alumni day at my old University and I could either attend that or go be humiliated in Reno and Richmond in March and April. I’m just tired.

It's just getting so hard to schlep myself to practice, it costs about $1,000 a weekend for a tournament, (I still can't find a sponsor.) I think the only reason I still do it is because I've got so much money wrapped up in equipment. On one hand I want to quit and on the other I don't.

Of course I was looking at some job advertisements yesterday and they are never going to hire me. I’m not going to work again. I’m turning into that guy I was afraid of becoming. Just growing old and fat. I have to have a reason to get out of bed.

I don't want to be seen as a quitter, I never have, but it seems like a good option.