Originally Posted by Mari

Butterfly,

A very close work friend that I have known for 25 years passed away twenty one months ago. Hubby and I did some things with his widow and their adolescent son. For a long time, we initiated contact to meet for lunch every three or four months. A few weeks ago, she initiated contact. She sent a text asking if hubby could tutor her son. I sensed early on that she felt that contact with hubby (even just for lunch or shopping at Marshalls) was healthy for her son. Her son and hubby have some similar quirks.
When my friend passed, he left a ton of books in his office (and even two small books cases he brought from home) and we needed the space eventually but not right away.

About four months after he passed, a work buddy, hubby, and I helped her load books and two paintings from the office into a van she rented.
At four months she was ready to deal with books and so were we. But I recognize that books are not the same as clothes that you bought together with your best friend.

I was never close to the wife -- and she is hard to get close to anyway. But feel a little bit of responsibility for helping the son.



I cannot really understand what you are dealing with but I do have a great deal of sympathy.

You can check with your new pastor's wife about suggestions about the timing issue when you meet her.

Mari