What he means by cleaning out her closet is that he wants me to pick a few items out for their daughter, as keepsakes and for when she's older. He wants me to take whatever I want. Then he wants me to do something with the rest, give away to others or Goodwill. I It's like at times, this is what he wants. So he contacts me. Then he changes his mind and decides no, he prefers seeing her stuff hanging in the closet. Then he changes it back and wants it gone so he contacts me.

The reason I am leery to push is because what if I do initiate getting the ball rolling on this because I perceive it's a need for him, then I do this for him and then a week later or something he's upset because he regrets it. I mean I already feel like I would be betraying my friend by agreeing to do this, but he says he can't do it and I do want to help her husband. But once I do this, it's gone forever. I won't be able to get her stuff back. That's why I need him to be 100% sure. I couldn't handle the guilt if he blamed me for rushing him into this, even though at times it's what he wants me to do. I don't know anybody on the suicide support forum. Do any of you know, is there a time frame, let's say a year? How long is it appropriate to clean out someone's closet? I want to reach out, but this is what is holding me back.

And because ya'll are like my talk therapy group I have to say this for my own well-being. She & I used to do everything together. I was there when the realtor showed them the house. It needed some updating. I helped her pick out paint colors, light fixtures for her bedroom and master bath. I hung the shelves right next to her bed and bought her the porcelain antique decorations that are on them. She shot herself in her bed. I have not been to her house since then and that is where her closet is and the whole thing just hurts like hell. I hope I don't sound selfish. Her husband and daughter found her and poor things had to see all that, which I cannot even imagine how you go on after that. And I know that's the last thing my friend would have ever wanted to happen. If she had thought this through she would have figured out a way to spare her daughter from the sight of it. Her daughter was her world and the reason she hadn't done this sooner. That's how I'm sure that I'm sure that it was an impulse decision. Sometimes a person is just tired of hurting and can't take it another second. She is a great person, I wish it were all different.