Hi and welcome to the forum. I am new here myself and getting use to the ropes. Everyone has been very kind so far.

I, myself am not into any organized religion. I grew up Catholic but left that faith many, many moons ago. I do believe in a higher power though.

The first thing that came to mind for me while reading your post was bi-polar. I do not have bi-polar but my father does. He would have extreme highs and extreme lows and strange impluses.

You may want to to talk to your doctor about this.

Good luck to hun, I hope you find the answers you seek.