Dear Butterfly know your heart will not always hurt so much. I lost my best friend 32 years ago when he was 18. I still miss him terribly but my grief is not as fresh. Time does heal wounds but sometimes leaves a scar. I both treasurer and hate may scar. I treasurer it because my friend made my life more and fuller. I hate it because selfishly I want that friend back. Your friends husband will let you know when he is ready. I think your instincts are good follow them. Does your friend have a good support system to aid him now? Is there an advocate who could help him, your friends daughter and yourself foster a healthy relationship? When grief is so strong it may help you all to have an advocate. If you could foster a friendship with both daughter and husband it may help focus more on the positive aspects that this beautiful person brought into your lives. When someone so dear and close to us has passed from us unexpectedly it can be a tough thing to find a way to honor them. I believe when we truley love someone and they we are joined in our hearts and are part of each other for all time. We are made more and better for our love for each other. I will always be thankful for knowing my friend and what he brought to me.