Today is the day I found my son almost dead and got him to the ER just barely in the nick of time... exactly a year ago this very moment he was in surgery getting a slice of his brain frontal cortex cut out from being so badly bruised. The start of a lifelong vigil for me, and different new lives for both of us.

I would still just like to crawl under a tree and die myself... soooooo very, very sad today, mourning the loss of my son's very wonderful old personality. So different from who he is today. I still cherish every tiny moment I get to spend with him, it is truly a Gift from God, extra granted dispensation of LIFE.

But big parts of him are so very gone... it is a both a blessing and a curse that he is so lacking in self awareness; it's a blessing that he remembers none of it and thinks he's fine, a curse because he will likely never be able to understand enough to advocate for himself.

I do think that when one of us "goes", the other will soon follow.

I always used to tell him "When you're 90 years old and I'm STILL 29, you'll still be my baby!" May we both reach that age.