Leesa:

Thank you for your words. This has been a journey for me since 1988. I never expected my life to go down this path.

I know I cant predict the future, all I can do is hope for the best. The pain pump is being done on 1/11/13, so just under 2 weeks away. I cant say that the pump will work as well as the trial did. I am prepared in that I know there may be some days that I have to deal with some off days. But if overall I get even a 50% relief from the pump then I am better off then not getting any relief at all.

As to where I am headed with the cervical/thoracic issues that is still up in the air and will deal with that in due time.

You ended your post about finding happiness. I have been struggling with this for such a long time. Trying to find happiness within in spite of what I am feeling physically and emotionally. But I will never give in my search for happiness.