I just found this forum today and it is nice to not feel alone anymore.

My back story:

5/31/12 I am rear ended by a woman after a guy in an SUV stops very short in front of me. I had plenty of time and space to make a stop and saw that the woman behind me was having a hard time stopping so I moved up as much as I could. At first I felt a tap on my bumper and thought it was over. Moments later I felt a very strong impact. I got out of my car to check the damage to my car -- which was much less than I thought. The lady who hit me asked if I was okay and with the adrenaline rush I thought I was totally fine.

After waiting forever for the police to come, I contacted my chiropractor who wrote up an order for x-rays of my neck and spine that I got that afternoon. I thought I was doing all the right things in terms of getting myself checked out.

That evening I started to feel really low mood-wise. I didn't know if it was because my better half was across the country on a business trip or what, but I felt desolate. I haven't felt down or depressed since my early 20s (I'm 38) so I thought it was strange.

The next day I got checked out by my chiropractor who said I had whiplash. I didn't mention the previous night's mood weirdness.

The next 3 weeks I had really bad with focusing on tasks. I felt like I had ADD/ADHD. This was an issue as I'm a self employed geek for hire who needs to be able to use her brain! I started looking online at whiplash symptoms and saw that people were saying that you could have attention span issues as a symptom of whiplash and that it should subside.

The final straw came when my own car insurance was calling bugging me to fill out a bunch of paperwork relating to the accident that I had not received. I remember telling people how I couldn't believe the nerve of the insurance lady who was nagging me to sign and return paperwork I had not received. That same week (week 3) the lady who hit me had her car insurance calling me wanting me to "settle." Based on the advice of my chiropractor and friends I decided to hire a lawyer as I didn't want to settle right away and knew I would have issues with the insurance arguing with me about the fact that I'm self employed and how much I would actually lose in potential wages. I was getting every bit of paperwork together relating to the accident to scan and email my lawyer when I came upon the paperwork I was sure I had never received!!! I had opened it and placed it with the rest of the papers, but I had zero memory of doing so. It scared the crap out of me as I have had a memory for details that people were jealous of.

Therefore, I contacted a neurologist and got an appointment for 5 weeks after the accident. He immediately said, "These are all classic post concussion symptoms." I was confused. I didn't hit my head or lose consciousness. How did I have a concussion?

I was told to go home and try cutting back on work as much as possible. I was cleared to try working out to see if my symptoms got worse -- if they did -- stop! I started doing basic cardio and never had symptoms and actually felt my best mentally 2-3 hours after my workouts.

I followed up with the neuro 2 more times and during those 2 months I started being able to focus better, but then had severe nausea and insomnia at night. The neuro suggested Ambien as he said sleep was key to getting better, but I told him I was worried about side effects and dependency. He said he respected my decision and suggested 5mg of Melatonin instead. It really helped overall, but any time I spent an extended amount of time reading or working on the computer I would get nausea for 2-3 nights after.

Finally in October I got a referral from the neurologist for a guy he called a "concussion coach" -- a PT who did neuro therapy as well as physical therapy. Within 15 minutes of doing an evaluation he said he saw what the problem most likely was: my left eye was having problems with tracking and focusing on objects. This started to make sense as to why physical exercise didn't give me symptoms, but reading and working on the computer did. I wear glasses/contacts for near sightedness and astigmatism.

Since then, he's been working on eye exercises with me including with the evil "Brock String" that makes me want to vomit after a 2 minute session. I saw him again today and he said the eye is showing vast improvement, but still isn't where he'd like it to be. He also started working on balance with me in the last month and that seems to be even slower going. He's also put limits on how long I can work at the computer -- I have to set a timer and stop for a couple of minutes after the work interval. It's helping, but I really worry about if I'll ever be able to work at the frantic pace I used to and that my clients expect of me.

To make a very long story short (hope someone is still with me), I am now feeling like I'm at about 80% for the last 2 months or so, but I can't get over the hump to getting to the next level. I'm at a little over 7 months and am getting more and more frustrated with myself. Today the PT told me that in cases where post concussion symptoms linger, he's never seen a patient get back to 100%. There always seems to be a ceiling of 90-95%. This was a really sobering bit of news.

Can I really expect to only improve to a certain point, but never be the same again? I'm seeing an eye doctor next week as I think my prescription may have changed and I'm wondering if that is what's keeping me from progressing with the eye issues.

Finally, anyone else have impulse control issues since a concussion that leads you to spend too much money? Can't tell if I can place blame on the concussion. :-)

Thanks for listening...

-- N