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Once we had a family staying in our house (we have an in-law apartment). The whole house is heated by a central wood stove. The husband always thought I was managing the stove wrong--the different vents, etc. He wanted me to do it in a way I knew for sure wouldn't work.
So, after weeks and weeks of this discussion, both of us getting more and more frustrated, my family went away for a few days, and we left him in charge of the stove. Finally, he could do it his way! When we got back, he told us that the house had been FREEZING the whole time we were gone, because he just couldn't get the fire to burn properly. But he had an explanation: atmospheric pressure.
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Abby, I love your story.
I just had a similar experience with someone who thought I did everything wrong and he is now going to fix it. Well...Hopefully he will be able to mend things back to where they were before...
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As I know you understand, sometimes we need emotional energy even more than we need physical energy--though I always hasten to add that I have the luxury of making such choices because I never have breathing trouble.
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I fully agree with that. You can do that even if you are having breathing troubles, as long as you have a good respirator at hand.
There is a joke I like to tell my patients: A 60 year old healthy man comes to his physician and tells him that he wants to live to be 100 and wants his advise on how to achieve that.
The doctor asks him: Do you drink wine? the man says-of course not.
Do you go out? and the man replies-Of course not. Do you indulge on delicious whipped cream cakes every now and then? and the man again replies-of course not.
In that case, the doctor asks, why exactly do you want to live to be 100?
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I have tried this experiment SO many times...I've tried it to abort episodes, and to prevent them, and to improve constant weakness and to prevent it. I've tried it for each different kind of weakness. Really, no dice.
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It took me 6 years (and a wonderful neurologist) to gradually stop feeling that "Alice in wonderland" loss of control over my life. Paradoxically, what helped me most was accepting the fact that I have no control over this illness.
It may seem funny, but understanding that what ever I do, I can't change the course of this illness gave me the peace of mind required to deal with my daily life with it. I realized that all the temporary aids I used (until I get better) actually enable me to lead a reasonably productive life.
But, this did not happen in one day, one month or even one year.