From the interpersonal perspective, you talked through her thoughts, dissuading her a couple of time, as she approached the point of personal decision whether to initiate the terminal event. Seems she found strength through you BMW as she sorted through all matters with which she dealt. Assist you did not, unless you were present making certain the event carried through to culmination. The final hand was her own.

How many of us have ever talked through tremendously hard matters with a trusted one? The talking alone does not make action occur. She delivered herself to the place of finality. Are you morally at risk for having not divined her intent each moment of every day? I think not.

You do need support to move forward from this reflective moment where you could be caught in a loop of ever fault found destructive recriminations. If a professional is accessible to you even for group threapy, such needful safety to talk through your debrief would provide you a personal safety net.

It is needed, lest you perpetuate the internalization of "what ifs" and " but fors" and "had she nots." For your own health, consider the possibility of professional help.

Caring, loving, hugging, hoping,
Mark56