Maybe you just need to really accept, I mean really accept, that the anxiety disorder itself is not your fault.

You're not choosing to feel this anxiety. Whenever someone tells me I'm being anxious I feel like part of that sentence includes blame, so I tend to disregard what they're saying. I feel like shouting, "I'm not choosing to make myself crazy, thank you very much! This could be REAL you know!" And then I'm stuck on a train of proving my anxiety is justified. Not a good focus.

So remove the blame and accept that for whatever reason (I'd guess PCS obviously) your brain is wired on some high voltage anxiety setting. Fact.

That is not your fault. And when people notice your anxiety they are not telling you something you don't know, deep down. And they're not blaming you either. It's just a fact, like I have brown hair. Or I have brown eyes. I have an anxiety disorder. No one can reset that for you, so think of it as a factory setting. At least for now.

So what is your job? Your job is to learn how to accept this high voltage anxiety setting in a way that no longer disrupts your quality of life. That job is something you CAN control. Does that make sense?

You don't get to control when the anxiety hits. You control the response, that's all. It may never totally eradicate the anxiety attacks but you'll notice it builds your confidence. In turn, the attacks should become less bothersome because you're not fueling the adrenal furnace that keeps them coming.

Look up PMR (progressive muscular relaxation) or do deep breathing, until you can calm enough to rest. When settled down sometime tomorrow, see if you can get your wife to call around to find a counsellor who does CBT (Cognitive behavioural therapy, which is what I went through years and years before this injury of mine and I still use the techniques to this day, drug free so far. I had gone through PTSD as a young woman)

Incidentally what Mark said to you was a form of CBT... Going through the least to most likely scenarios and letting you choose what's most logical. It isn't fluffy, it sounds uncaring at times, but it works. It disengages my "chicken little" tendencies to have a firm, fact finding talk with myself.

Here's a glimpse of what I was like:
Phoning husband. He doesn't answer.
Phone again. No answer
No answer on 3rd try
Hands sweating, throat dry, heart hammering
Try again no answer
What if something happened
No answer
Omg something happened to him
Heart racing legs weak body shivering stomach cramping
No answer
He's hurt! He's been in an accident! Or he's mad! Why would he be mad at me?
Etc etc etc until I was sick and couldn't be talked out of it.

So irrational, right? Ok so the CBT would take me though scenarios. All scenarios of why the phone was unanswered. Then I had to rate them. What is the most likely reason husband didn't answer? He was with a client.

I liken anxiety attacks to lions, and we're the lion tamers.

Sometimes medicine helps to get us over the humps while we learn the techniques, so you may benefit from medication... but NOT learning the techniques is just not an option. The work must be done to deprogram that level of anxiety, in my experience. I'm no expert, I'm just sharing what I've observed.