I know what you mean Cyn.

After my daughter found me barely alive, the paramedics rushing me to the ER ( the 2 days in ICU that I don't remember) and 3 days on the telemetry floor; I am really weak and tired. The asthma and aspiration pneumonia on top of tos are just exhausting me.

Breathing is difficult at times. It's hard to keep on keepin'on. I must though for my family.

I have never been a fearful person but this respiratory stuff really scared me. It is pretty important to be able to breathe.! It happened without any notice. Last thing I remember I was standing in the kitchen, next thing I know I'm in the ER and people are yelling at me to wake up.

They gave me Narcan to reverse the effects of my pain med thinking that would help me wake up. I would wake up briefly in extreme pain, then I would go back unconscious. It was not the pain meds it was the low oxygen levels from long term asthma that was not allowing me to wake up.

I'm afraid to go to sleep fearing I won't wake up. I never want to experience again trying to wake from unconsciousness and the scary things I was dreaming.

As I said earlier, I have never been a fearful person. As an R.N. I have been through some scary experiences.

I was not afraid to go to court twice representing myself in the malpractice suit; facing three defense attorneys (it is really hard to get a medical malpractice attorney- let alone win the case ) There were court dates that had to be kept to keep the suit going.
Finally getting an attorney was a relief.

I wasn't afraid to stand up to the private eyes who were giving me a hard time when I asked them to serve the 3 docs and hospital their papers.

It seems like my body has tried to give up, it's not going to fight anymore.

I'll see the pulmonologist latter in the month.

In searching on line for a good massage therapist who is certified in neuromuscular massage I found one just a few miles away. Since he is in the pt clinic hopefully insurance will pick up the cost. I saw the owner/physical therapist who will treat me also. She has some great ideas that may help me. She is talking about hormone replacement (naturally) and how that may have had a part in my thyroid not working, the depression and other problems I have. I'm always open to new ideas to get better.

I should have called back my therapist a week ago, the smallest tasks seem monumental to me. Just trying to apply for financial aid for my 2 kids in college has been hard to get around to.

It has been 7 years for me also. Feb 2000 I had the parathyroidectomy that caused the tos.

Maybe at 7 years you hit the wall with tos.

Like the 7 year itch maybe

Like you OleCyn, we have a long way to go in life. Another 30 years of this?

Martha

Martha