For now I guess it is ... what she left behind good memories and her kids and family. so that is what i will hanging on to. and yes it is true that as much as she wanted us to remember her full of love and full of life she too wished to be able to remember us full of love and full of life. without sad faces and So decided to send a little box up to her kids . I guess the answer or light is to just care and try to help somebody in some small way . but right now i feel like a huge change with lots of things in my life/myself. That is about the size of little ol me right now. off to lurk mode . thanks everyone for the wise words caring and support. blessings for the room.
PEACE
BMW