I had a really good night's sleep last night and my mind must have been working on my problem. I awoke feeling like I just had a good session with my old T. Here is what I am thinking (for today).

1. Fact: my cat is going to die. It may be now or it may be later but it is going to happen. There is nothing I can do about it.

2. Fact: she is either going to eat or she is not. The only thing I can do to change that fact is to continue to give her her medicine.

3. Fact: I can either spend my time in mourning and feel depressed and miserable (about things I cannot change) or I can appreciate my time with her and love her and keep her comfortable. I am choosing the latter.

This does not mean I do not feel bad and whish she could stay with us forever but it does make me step back and realize I am working myself up over things I cannot change. I'll use the medication if I need it but I will try very hard not to panic like I did the other night and yesterday.

I know it will not be easy. I wll have to keep up the self talk and I can't say how much coming her to express my feelings and get your good wishes has helped me. I hope I can continue to come. I'll keep you updated if/when anything changes.