Thank you so much for your reply's it helps to know your not alone . And I know other people, have way more to deal with than I do. Sometimes I feel like I am whining, but I just need to vent. Even at 85 my dad , just cannot tell the truth. He never has been able to, as long as I can remember. So yes I know part of it is demetia, and the rest lies. I have a lady who comes in 2x a week for 2 hours. She cook's, cleans. and does errands, all these are based upon whether he will let her. Now he is accussing her of inappopriate behaviour, which he swears religiously I have seen. I want to say wow dad can you put anymore on me ?. Of course this is not happening. I think it's his conscience, because all he ever did was cheat on my mother, until the day she died. I know I have to love him through Jesus, because without faith I could not. He ( my dad ) was trying to talk to me about religion : and I just can't with him. If they gave awards at church for being a hypocrite, he would have won all of them. Praise God in the pew, one of the good ole boys, then come home get drunk, and beat us physically and mentally. It's just not in me ! to talk to him about salvation. So I just silently pray he gets it right.