Dear Mari


you know i always appreciate your input. and in any case i appreciate your being here for me.

the thing is pdoc saw me the day before yesterday. i told him about the euphoria, the meds, the lability and irascibility so the twerp already knows what is going on. coming into spring is a strange time for me to get manic so it may not last long anyway. if anything at all, i tend to get depressed in spring but i don't really have a fixed seasonal pattern and the depression is not a given.

anyway, today is saturday i couldn't contact him if i wanted to, nor tomorrow, and i don't want to.

i am not going to call him nor monday either coz i'm ****** as all HHH coz he acted really cold to me then said i was right but did not apologize and did not seem like he gave a rats patootie so he can kiss mine. he did this at end of session no less, worst of timing. jerk!

besides he might not even make med changes lots of times he says lets see how things go i am the one to push and heck in spite of what i told him he wanted me to stay on zoloft... hellllooo???? yes i know it's a risk period for depression but i have to change antidepressant if i do need one anyway so no reason to stay on that crap when i'm walking a buzzwire.

menses are due. if that doesn't nip this i will up my Depakote to 1000mg which is baseline dose for acute mania tx, increase more on weekly basis, if not enough. that is what he would rx i've been down this road before too right now he can sit pretty and be cold to his other patients i have no patience and no tolerance for more sht from him.

so yeah i will DIM in this case at least for a while. also pdoc cannot make me remember meds. i will do the alarm setting thing to try to fix that problem..... hopefully i remember to set it... argh, i see dog chasing tail..

~ waves ~