I feel a spectrum of thoughts,and feelings. When I talked to my friends friend,and he said that my friend had committed suicide,I felt my rib cage muscles tighten up,and became heavy.

This is some sort of triple whammy. I don't know what to do,think,or say about this. It sounds like I'm full of lies,but it's all the truth. I was thinking that no one will believe this. My sister is going to go to a nursing home for a period of time for rehabilitation. My Dad died Sunday night,and I found out late last night that my life long best friend killed himself.

I don't know what to say. I don't want to be silent,because that's not healthy. I've already talked to my councilor about my dad's death. I think that I'm handling that in a healthy way. He lived a long life.

My friend was in his fifties. He was a giant of a man who was 6'6", who lifted weights,became a black belt in karate,and had a scholarship in college Football. He had pain issues with his knees,and was on pain killers. He holds a Shot Put record. He became a Policeman for many years. Had a wife,and a daughter,and friends that cared about him. BF