Hi. Before this issue I had I had severe depression/anorexia. I tried to comit suicide about 6 years ago and ended up in psych unit. I have been inpatient before for depression and treatment of anorexia. One thing through this and after that issue I realized suicide is not the answer and you hurt the loved ones you have. Even if you feel you just can't go on think of that one person who will be devestated and hopefuly in time you will feel good enough to want to live for you. You can't give up hope and I know so hard as I have also been in the worst bed ridden pain of my life but using the support you have to get through. I'm still in op therapy and before this the depression is still a constant battle. I know you feel no one understands and the pain is too deep or will never go away but for me reminding mself I'm not alone and people do get better. I know its easier said then done. Have you thought about checking yourself in to a psych unit? There are many non hospital based one as well that are residential treatment. I have learned a lot of coping mechanisms and gotten a lot of support through fellow suffer and the structure helped me get back on a better track. I really hope for myself when able to be more out of bed and I'm still hoping I can attend support groups for pain. I attend ed groups and I really encourage you to maybe look into a support group. It can help to feel less alone and you may meet a friend. I'm new to this board but if you want an email buddy I would love one too. Sometimes reaching out is hard and those especially hard times are when you really need to. Please stay strong and hold to hope.