MsRriO,

Everything you said rings true here. Your inner struggles are as real as the nose on your face. We understand. The 'you look better' is a common problem. The YouTube series, "You Look Great" explains this in great detail.

The NPA report sounds familiar. I scored very high in the intelligence areas and very low in processing speed and short term and immediate memory. This is where the NP's biases will show. Some do not believe one can exhibit high intelligence and low memory skills. They may use this to cast doubt over the results. The deeper research shows that this discrepancy is a solid indicator of organic brain injury.

There is life with low memory skills and slowed processing speed. It may take some reinventing of self. You may need to give up on trying to be super mom. You family will also need to let go of the super mom idea.

One of the toughest times for people with PCS is when there is a high intelligence and high intensity career. The memory and other dysfunctions become much more problematic to such people. Think of it as a precisely tuned high performance sports car. There only needs to be a slight drop in performance and the high performance car becomes an average daily driver.

The resulting average performance coming from a high performance package becomes very stressful and is questioned. This is likely the hardest part of PCS to accept. It is like we have lost the part of ourselves that was our identity.

My heart goes out to you as you struggle with this. There are no easy answers, especially if family and doctors question this reality.

The only thing to remember is simple. If you can get free of physical pain, head aches, etc., there is still an opportunity for a full life, even with long term memory and processing limitations. Hopefully, the full NPA report will help you understand what currently is your condition so you can move forward within those limitations.

My best to you.