I've been at this almost two years, and I despite being able to go to grad school part time, and a internship for 12 hours a week, I feel like I'm still in that hell.

I totally get it when you say that your doctor saying you look better, etc, makes you're family think you are better.

My boyfriend think since I'm doing things in the real world, I'm better. Despite a huge increase in symptoms, visual problems cropping up, etc, he refuses to see that I'm still in hell, trying to convince everyone I'm trying on the outside, when I just want to give up.

It's become a big act for me.. go to class and put a fake smile on, go to my internship, fake smile... despite the pounding headache, the ringing tinnutis, eye pain, endless fatigue and back pain.... of course, I look just fine. Not to mention feeling useless, as I have mountains of coursework to do, but can only get a small amount of work done until my brain gives up on me. But yep, I'm "healed"!

Some might call this functioning, I wish there was a way for them to see how it feels from my perspective. This is not functioning, this is not living, this is merely existing in Hell and trying to fool others that I'm not, so they don't tell me I'm being negative, too focused on my symptoms, or my personal favorite, that I just need to stop worrying and I'll be good as new.

Ugh... I didn't mean to steal your thunder... But you are right, it feels good to unload with someone else who understands.

Prayers to you and your family. We're all here for you. You are never alone in your pain, struggles, and frustration here. Keep venting