I am so sorry you are having such a hard time I totally understand and know what you're going through. I know it's hard to believe right now but you WILL get better! If I look back to where I was at 4 months it was a LOT worse then where I am now. I still have a long way to go but I can only assume that in 4 more months I will be feeling better still. Think what another year or two will do for healing!

What you are now is NOT permanent! There may be some permanent issues but what you are experiencing right now is not it! Whatever the findings are on the neuro psych testing are also not permanent! Please remember that the people on this website are the ones still having issues or the wonderful people that chose to stay to help. A lot of people have gotten back on with their lives and just aren't coming on here anymore!

I know you don't want a doctor saying you're depressed however PCS does cause depression and it is a treatable symptom. You aren't sick because you're depressed, you have depression because you have PCS. Let's see if I can explain the way my NP did....

There are 4 reasons that emotions (depression, anxiety, etc.) and concussions go together and are worse because of each other:
1. emotions are a physiological response. a normal response to life which causes increased blood pressure, muscle tension, shallow breathing and all these can further aggravate your PCS symptoms.
2. emotion is a brain function so depression can be a primary symptom because regulation is off or out of proportion.
3. Concussions introduce life stressors that add emotional challenge and the brain is having a hard time dealing with it.
4. Concussion is taking away your normal stress coping strategies i.e. exercise, talking to friends, getting out of the situation.

If one gets better they both will get better. Hopefully you can get some help with the depression. The flare up that you're experiencing from your testing will hopefully get better soon and that will make you feel better all around.

I also totally get how frustrating it is when people say... wow you look so much better or you sound totally fine or if you just think positive you will better. Bull s*^$. If all it took was a DESIRE to get better and the drive to push to be better we ALL would have been perfectly healthy a long time ago. Why would anyone chose to live like this???? We are all some of the most hardworking, driven people on the planet which is probably our downfall

I have a splitting migraine so have to go now. I just wanted to say I understand and I'm sorry you're having this day. Tomorrow will be better if you just think positively and if it isn't better at least you will look fine!

BIG HUG
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