Eva,
A while back, listened to a beautiful homily about "fear". There is so much more to this; but ended with ......"if we know fear.....it is Not from God".

You are being tested beyond all reasoning. Now, as if the pain were not enough, and you still show your love of God; your mental state is being tested. You are wise enough to know who is doing his best to take control in the hope of having you turn away from God.

He evidentially does not understand; you will not give the "deceiver" control over you. He cannot have you. You are a child of God and will remain so in spite of the one who deceives.

Jesus I Trust In You,

Gerry