Originally Posted by catra121

Oh...now you have ME crying.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I agree with Alt that your increased pain today is because you are so upset and stressed when thinking about all the things you cannot do with your son and your family. We all know what stress and frustration can do to the RSD pain levels. Been there and done that.

All I can suggest (and I'm sure it's something you know and are trying to sort through on your own) is to really focus on what you CAN do. I know you feel useless and like you can't do anything but I am sure this is not the case. For example...can you get out of the house at all to maybe visit a park or something with your son (I don't know how old he is...if he would like to play at a park or if it would just be to maybe have a picnic or something)? Sometimes just BEING there even if you can't take part in the activities can mean a lot because you are sharing the experience. You mention the beach...is there a reason you can't go to the beach? Is it too far, too hard to get to, etc? Maybe you could find a place where it would be easier for you to be there even if you couldn't necessarily play with your son in the sand.

I know you can't toss the ball around with your son...but could you take him to some batting cages or enroll him in some sort of training program or sports program where you could watch him? That could be a fun thing for him and your being there to support him would be very meaningful for him...even if you can't physically participate in the activities yourself. You would still be a part of the experience.

If you can't leave the house...what about things like board games, puzzles, or even watching tv? When I was little I remember having these "movie marathons" where we would watch things like all the Star Wars movies or an entire miniseries. These days you could do this with certain tv shows. We would all gather together as a family, sit down with some popcorn or meat/cheese trays, or whatever and just make a day of it. It was just a way to visit with each other and spend time together without really going out and "doing" something. You could have a game night or set aside some times every night to work on a particularly BIG puzzle. I love doing puzzles with my family...and my physical therapist actually said puzzles were good therapy for my hands because they work on precision movement in my fingers and hands.

If travelling out of state isn't an option...what about seeing if there is a more local resort destination where you guys could get away from it all for a long weekend or something. If you can travel out of state I would definitely look into destinations that are very handicap friendly and they might be able to make accommodations that you wouldn't have thought about. Then even if you couldn't do all of the activities you might still be able to BE there and just be part of the experience.

I hate making any of these recommendations because I know we all have different limits and you may read something and think, "I can't do THAT." But try and think outside the box and not about what you CAN'T do but what you CAN do. That has helped me a lot to find joy in the things I can do and not focus on all the things that are beyond my reach. No...you might not be able to go hiking with your son, build castles with him on the beach, or play catch...but there are ways to spend time with him and be a part of his life.

One of my favorite quotes is, "Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want...doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they have." Your son may not really understand this now...but he will come to later in life as long as you do everything possible to give everything you have no matter how much or how little that is. Don't give up...just do what you can. Your son loves you and clearly you love him...these are the important things. Enjoy every moment you have together regardless of what you are doing...it's just important to BE together and to enjoy that time.

Take care and good luck.