You said, "I guess my only hope is suicide or leaving my country and going to a place where you have freedom to choose how to treat your own body and mind. " That list is getting smaller and smaller.

Where do you live that is so violent ? I don't want to assume Italy.

Metropolitan areas have the highest levels of stress because they suffer the most from the larger economic problems. Areas with lower population densities may be best.

Do you have access to vitamins and supplements where you live ? Check out the thread Vitamins and Supplements. Getting your neurochemisty balanced works better with good brain nutrition.

The NeuroEndocrinology thread may be helpful, too.