Originally Posted by Janke

If you don't have legal guardianship you should probably get a court appointment. That way it would be really hard for the mother to ever gain custody even if she went to court. Also, as the child gets older, the courts consider their desires as well. But no one can guarantee what a court might do.

If there are any survivor benefits, a legal guardian is the first payee choice, a relative with custody is also high on the list of preferred payees. A parent who does not show interest is not considered a preferred payee and should not be selected.