Nite nite Bizi,

Good luck with your appointment today... I might be napping when you head out, so best leave you this mesage now.

Although I do not usually endorse lying to a health provider, I make exception here because I think your pdoc is too inflexible. She is not helping you treat this problem at all by being all black and white about it, like you can just flip a switch. It is one thing to say, please do not come to sessions intoxicated. That, I feel, is reasonable. It is another to say stop drinking as though it were as simple as making an X on a piece of paper. So, do/say whatever you feel is best w/ her, with all my blessings! (fwiw! )

And CONGRATULATIONS on being Alcohol Free today. Each and any day you do that is a great victory for you ... put a notch in your belt for it.

You haven't mentioned if your depression is still up there... if you are not feeling your usual self, do please discuss depressive sx with her. that includes guilt, feelings of inadequacy, uselessness. Also even if you are not sad, not enjoying things you normally enjoy as much can be a feature. Also sleeping or eating substantially more or less than usual. Anxiety level can sometimes increase with depression, so report that to her as well. Remember apart from offering an AD she may be able to uptweak your Lamictal and that may help.

And remember, too, All ADs are not created equal. You had the worst possible experiences - given the only SSRI with a really long half-life and then left unmonitored to boot! it was soooo wrong in soooo many ways!

My pdoc and I recently discussed AD's for me because the past year, Zoloft was lowering my bp too much. Well I said I don't want Prozac because if i I had a manic reaction like with Paxil, I'd be messed up for a good bit with Prozac's long half life. He said no, that is indeed one reason he doesn't prescribe Prozac at least not to bipolars... and that it was the first "template" drug of the SSRI's he considers the later ones better and less likely to cause problems. I went manic very fast with Paxil, small dose. And another time I tried it I had extrapyramidal sx on top of severe agitation just after a couple of doses. Despite that, I have taken Zoloft, Celexa and Wellbutrin and was fine with those.

I rather hope you are feeling better now, and won't need an AD. Still, I thought I'd toss these considerations in, just in case.

I really hope the appointment goes smoothly for you.

love

~ waves ~