Bipolar II with major depression; currently down, going through meds adjustments; have just opened Pandora's Box in therapy RE unresolved grief. Recently came to light that there is PTSD in the mix.

Multiple family members & close friends took their own lives:
My age 12, Brother (22), **
" " " " " " " " Brother's wife followed him, same method.
My age 16, Father (49), **.
My age 19, Brother (21),**
My age 45, Very close friend/bandmate, **
My age 46, Good high school friend, **

None had any psych eval so it's only speculation about their mental illnesses; my 2nd brother heard voices, probably schizophrenia.

Have mostly isolated my whole life so never had a lot of friends, but a few close ones, two who opted out violently.

To say the least, I wonder why I have been exposed to so many suicides. Anyone I've ever told has been blown away, most haven't a clue how to deal, what to say, etc., so they say nothing. I understand that a bit better now.

Additional more recent losses have been my Mom to Alzheimers and my younger brother to HIV/AIDS. I have two surviving sibs, older sisters, one I live with. She has major depression, and the other has terminal cancer. We support each other as best we can, mostly via daily emails.

My "official" diagnosis is Bipolar II with major depression & GAD. ** I find it's high time I reached out to you all, share whatever might be useful and just feel I can "spew" among those who truly know this wicked malady.