Hi!

So, I hope someone will be patient enough to read all of this please.
So I was just having a panic attack again and here I am sitting now and thinking how things will work in Germany?
School is hard I will be in my junior year and have to get really, really good grades because I have big dreams about my future. I am having three months left in the US. I HAVE to get better in this three months. I will be able to rest one whole month in Germany but school in Germany does not care if you have problems with health. Show good grades or you're out.

This is my concussion story in short form:
On the 10th september, exactly 6 months ago, I headed a soccer ball really wrong. I got a headache after heading this ball. The next day I felt not like myself, like in a dream, I had slurred speech, light, sound sensivity , lightheadedness, was really emotional. I went to my atheltic doctor right on the next day. I did the baseline test that was showing a mild concussion.
He send me to the consussion clinic and said all the usual stuff what to do and how to do.
It was my first month in the states and I was staying with the worst host family on the planet. They are messies. I hope you call it like that. They really are. Instead of putting me in a quiet, dark room, I was put in the sun room with my three hyperactive host siblings. I wasn't taking medication how I was supposed to do and did all the wrong things. I wasn't having three meals per day either and had to walk the dog/babysit with concussion. Anyway, I felt great after one week and returned. But 10 days after my concussion I felt like crap.
They took me out of school for 2 more weeks and I spend this two weeks in a depressive horrible environment with a depressive host mum, violent host dad and the three kids jumping on me. I had the most horrible two weeks of my life. After this thee weeks I went to the emergency room and was diagnosed with pcs. Two weeks later I pretended to be alright so I could escape from my host fam trough starting basektball.( I have some stupid post in this forum about my decision, if you want to check it out.)
I had really mild symptoms when I started playing. I stopped playing after three weeks because I saw what a stupid decision I made.
Slowly I added more and more new symptoms like flashes, tingeling, ice pick headaches.
I also decided to change hosts(best decision I ever made) and had to move to my rep for two weeks. I organized the new family by myself because my organisation wouldn't help me and wanted to send me home. I was having a lot of stress+had to integrate in the new family, put on a smile and be fun for them. My brain was never, ever so much tortured and I felt like **** all the time. I developed a lot of empotional problems.
I went to a neurologist after I stopped playing basektball. He was really positive about me getting better. One month later I still did not improve. He was thinking about seizures. He ordered an MRI and an EEG for me. Both negative.
Now, two months later, I still did not improve a bit. I started vistibular theraphy four weeks ago and every doctor thought that would be the cure! The only thing that got better was my balance but no other thing.
I am eating healthy, wearing ear plugs everywhere, even while class, I don't even talk to people anymore and isolate myself, because it extremly increasing my symptoms when I am talking to people. People, even teachers, in high school avoid me and started hating me. I actucally give a *****, it's just making me so mad, that nobody understands. And I am not doing/can't do homework because of that either(my symptoms).
I went to the concussion clinic last friday and had an emotional break down. I was crying so hard. They referrred me to an neuro pschologist. Beside that they told me I should be fine. Since one month I am seeing a counsellor. I am diagnosed with depression and PTSD and stong anxiety. That's my situation so far.
My situation right now:
All the concussion baseline tests, I took, were above average, showing that I am not having cognitive damage, and I feel like that too, but as soon as I want to concentrate I get horrible ice pick headaches+normal headaches. Like if someone would stab you in the head with a real sharp knife, I get a white fog in front of my eyes, I get tingeling everywhere and extremely lightheaded and dizzy.
I am always lightheaded and I feel like in dream. I am sensivitive to light and sound. My feet and left hand are like always tingeling and I am having ear ringing. My worst symptom is visual snow and dream feeling and falshes of light, floater+being fatigue.
Next to the concussion I am having hormone problems. I don't like talking about that but screw it: I have too much testorone in my body(yes I am a girl) and never had my period. I was taking the pill in my first month in the US but stopped after I had horrible, bloody period(won't go in much detail). I will see a gynocologist this week.
I don't know what to do anymore. Sometimes I am so depressed I just wanna die and think about killing myself. How will I ever heal in three months with such a psychological health, how will I ever accomplish my dreams with such bad symptoms? How will I ever heal with hormone problems? How will I'll be ever able to heal in gerneral?! How will I be able to integrate in a new class in Germany with that kind of health ?
I am writing all that stuff down because I have never been so desperate. I can't break up the exchange year because would have to go school and school is hard( I just took fun classes here), you guys have better concussion knowledge than the Germans.
So, I need any advise on how to get healthy or on how to get hope. I would take medications, or anti depressiva, but my parents are strictly against that! Please, I would try out any kind theraphy. Was lately thinking about vision theraphy because I am having problems focusing with my eyes and I never see the "whole image" of the world. People say, that you could heal with a positive attuide, I am far from that.
My parents would pay for any kind of treatment! I know, resting is the most important thing and I am doing nothing else, I don't have a life.
What do you guys thing, I can't do that anymore. I would be willing to try out anything!
I hope someone will read all of this! If yes, thank you! Sorry for bad english