Lui I'm so sorry you are going through all this when you should be having an exciting adventure away from home! Don't ever apologise about your English! Its good and far better then my German!

I'm hoping Mark or someone will point you in the right direction for getting your hormones checked. If your parents will pay for anything and you want to get it all done before you get home then getting them checked couldn't hurt. Getting your eyes checked is a great idea and may bring you some relief of symptoms or relief knowing there's nothing permanently wrong with your eyes.

I think the biggest (and hardest to do!) advice I can give you is to try to calm down. Don't worry about three or four months from now because worrying is obviously making you worse and is not accomplishing anything. You should get appointments with the neuropsychologist not just for testing but to help you through this and counsel you. They can maybe explain what's going on and help calm you down.

You say you can not take medications but have you tried meditating or other relaxation techniques? You need to find a way to stop the negative thoughts in your head. Sometimes if I find myself dwelling on something that's upsetting me by repeating it over and over in my head I say STOP either in my head or out loud and I make myself think of something else or take deep breaths.

Please do not worry that your life or career is over! The odds are more in your favour that you will be just fine! I know how scary it must be. You've had a very stressful time over here in a strange country!

hope tomorrow is a better day for you. <hugs>

CC