I started on Suboxone 2 days ago, and the difference has been night and day. I was prescribed Suboxone for a long-standing opiate/benzo/sedative addiction history; although I had been clean for about a month, they still put me on Suboxone because my cravings were horrendous. I had previously been clean for over 2 years but my cravings never got better and I finally gave in. My counselor suggested Suboxone based on my past history of abuse and my level of cravings. Here's where things get interesting...I also have a life-time history of depression and anxiety...I got hooked on benzos because antidepressants never worked for me. I've tried almost every antidepressant out there..Paxil, Prozac, Trileptal, Lamictal, Wellbutrin, Pristiq, Abilify, Nortriptyline, etc etc etc. Nothing has ever worked except for the benzos, but of course that is out of the question because I'm an addict and I take way too much of them. Well, my first dose of Suboxone was two days ago, and not only are my cravings gone, but I am happier than I have ever been, while clean or using. I feel like a new person. It's like somebody gave me a shot of happy juice. I can't believe the difference!!! I thought this was just because I'm not craving anymore... but I never felt like this when I was using either...I was still depressed, but I was too messed up to really care. So, it can't be that Suboxone is making me high, because I never felt like this in the past when I was high...I didn't know what to think so I started searching on the internet on Suboxone side-effects and found this thread on Suboxone use for refractory depression....Can it really be that I have found something that will help my cravings AND my depression in one fell swoop??? I had stopped believing in God long ago, because the daily pain of living with addiction and depression had killed any belief that there was a benevolent loving being who loved me, but....this is enough to rekindle even my lost faith.

My problem/question/issue is this...the dose they prescribed me is way too high...I work about 30 hours a week and I go to school full-time so I can't be too sedated. He started me out on 10 mg the first day, then 12 mg for 2 days, and now 16 mg a day. I haven't been able to do a lot of homework or reading, even on 8 mg a day. I decided to only take 4 mg at night. What's the big deal right? I should just call the doctor and tell them I need a lower dose, no big deal. But...I already know I feel better than I have ever felt in my life - I already know I never want to stop taking this medication. But...I also know this addiction doctor, while he might keep me on it for months or even years, will probably not keep me on it for the long-term. So, I am already planning on stockpiling my extra medication so that when the time comes I'll have reserves. But today, at my weekly meeting, my counselor tells me that I have to bring in the empty wrappers. Two, she mentions that the urine test will show if I'm taking the right dose.

So, my first question is - will the Suboxone be damaged/inactivated if I keep the sublingual films in a baggie so I can bring in the empty wrappers? Two, does the urine test really show the "level" of the bup? I thought it was just positive or negative. It's so weird that, after years of using more than prescribed, I'm now trying to find a way to get away with using less than prescribed!!

Any help you can provide is much appreciated.