mrAA.

I know what you are going through. A NeuroPsychological Assessment will likely be a big help. By defining your dysfunctions, you can focus on the many work-arounds and accommodations needed to go on. PCS does not cause much loss in IQ from a statistical view. It can cause a slowed processing and memory problems that make one feel like they have a diminished IQ.

You likely need to learn new ways to learn. You may have a diminished digit span. That is the number of variables the brain can process at the same time. It is not a cause for alarm. There are many ways to overcome a diminished digit span. The most common is learning new skills at focusing. The highly intelligent brain tends to be lazy with many thought processes.

The simplest change is to use multi-sensory learning styles. That means using visual, auditory, and tactile senses to learn. You were likely a visual learner who could see information and commit it to memory and understanding. This means you also had good visual processing skills where you could mentally envision the numbers as you processed them. Now, you need to develop new learning and computing skills. Fortunately, you are young enough to have a brain that can learn these new skills easier than us old fogies.

I had fabulous math skills where I could do calculations in my mind. I lost many of these skills at 15 then was able to retrain my mind. I suffered another concussion at 19 and had to relearn these skills again. It took effort but I have done it many times. I try to practice these skills at the store when shopping.

To give you a good example, I was a year ahead of the traditional math program in high school. I successfully challenged Honors Algebra I and took sophomore geometry as a freshman. I was taking Honors Algebra II as a sophomore when the rest of the class was juniors and seniors. I suffered my concussion during the first quart and struggled to get high B'sand low A's in Algebra II. I did not take calc or trig because there was only one teacher and he was my neighbor and I did not want to sit in his class. He was a jerk.

I took my first SAT as a junior and scored 650 on the math. Nine months later, during the middle of my senior year, I took the SAT again and scored 710 on the math. This was long before there were prep courses for the SAT. It had been 1 1/2 years since I had taken a math course but I increased my math score by 60 points.

I went through a similar situation in college and successfully retrained my mind. I took the SAT in 1998 when the students were given their copy to take home with a answer key sent with their scores. I took my son's test and scored 790 on the math and a bit lower on the verbal. I had not taken a math course since 1975. I just kept applying my mind to math.

btw, My most serious and life changing concussion happened when I was 10 years old.

I have a TBI friend who suffered a severe TBI in 1996. It took him a few years before he could return to college. It took 10 years for him to get his BA and then MS. He recently became a new dad and passed his national boards as a professional clinical therapist. His life is full. His experience with TBI has made him a much stronger yet more compassionate person.

So, please don't lose hope. You can overcome this struggle. When you apply yourself to learning new learning skills, you will be much stronger in your academic achievements.

As others have said, find a good doctor or therapist to help you with the suicidal ideation.

My best to you.