I am starting a new thread to discuss alcohol issues. I can't easily find my last thread about my history so thought I would start a new one, open to all for use of course.

Last year I broke down and sobbed to my pdoc about how much weight I had gained because of all of the drinking that I had been doing. She was horrified and told me to join AA and get a sponsor. She did not quite threaten me with discontinuing her care but I felt that she did.
This was the last time that I got manic and bought that car on a whim and then pleaded with them the next day to take it back...which they did fortunately. That was the only thing that triggered my mania was the drinking. It scared me straight. I threw out a 1.75 liter of gin and drank 8 beers and then did not drink for 3 months when I saw her again. I was very proud of myself and had lost weight like 12 pounds not really trying really.
I started seeing a new therapist who is a recovering alcoholic of 20 years and someone who has an eating disorder, and I like her.
I saw her a few times and then missed an appointment and did not make another appointment, I told her that I would call her after the holidays.
WEll indeed did I start drinking again and in great quantities. I was drinking daily.....not during the day only at night after work. Fast forward past jeffs injury past the cruise to about 2 weeks ago. I called up my tdoc(I had not seen her in months) and saw her the week before I was to see my pdoc. I told her I did not know what I was going to say to her. The last tuesday before seeing my pdoc I felt so guilty about all of the drinking I went to an AA meeting and listened and they made me talk...I told the that I did not think that i was an alcoholic that I had issues though. They were very nice and wanted to offer help. They gave me the big book for AA's and I got out of there as fast as I could. I did not realize how religious it was.
This was last week. I did not drink the night before seeing my pdoc. So I could honestly say that I had not been drinking daily. So when I went to see her last thursday I was trying to act all happy and in a good way, I lied a lot to her. I told her that I had started a new diet and lost a couple of pounds. She specifically asked about my drinking. I told her that I drank over the holidays and the cruise, she said how much. I said 2 which is not the truth at all. I manipulated the conversation as much as I could...convincing her that I had stopped again.
I had not stopped at all.
The beers that I drink are blueberry, sounds harmless. In fact they are potent. 8% alcohol in one beer so having a beer is like having 2.
I was starting to guzzle my beers quickly. I would have 2-3 every night equals 4-6 beers every night.. My tolerance was way high.
Sunday we went to brunch and I had 2 bloody mary's there it was st pattys day. I drank a couple of beers that evening then at 9 said I wanted to go out so we went out and had an irish car bomb which is half a guiness beer and a shot of whiskey with kahlua that you drop into the glass and then drink it all down.. It was very good! I then proceed to have 3 more bloody marys they were on sale. and then another bomber before we went home. Jeff did not have as much to drink as I did. I drank a half gallon of water before going to bed. That was a lot to drink!
Yesterday jeff had a rehearsal so we did dinner separately. I worked late and at 7:30 I ended up going to the pub down the street from our house.
I drank 4 gin martinis(like 8 shots) and a light beer, it was a 2 for 1 happy hour...I drank all of that in a short amount of time.
I ate a chef salad and at the last minute ordered a basket of fries, which were delicious! I came home and drank another half gallon of water.
I woke up fine today.
Tonight I talked myself into not buying any more beer...I went back to the AA meeting place and gave them back their book.
I drank 2 non alcoholic beers tonight....Will see if I can not drink. Today is almost done so that is one day. I have done this before I can do it again.
I need to lose all of this weight that I regained and then some.
I can't seem to drink in moderation like other people.
This writing sounds pretty hypo to me and probably to you too.
I see my tdoc in 2 days.
Thank you for your support.
bizi