I was worried when I got the call that I would need an insurance review. I am in no way able to return to work full time or even part time... So, when a walk brought on a week of headaches I wasn't really upset, since it meant I would be doing my testing WITH symptoms, rather than symptom free (rest keeps me symptom free for the most part)... I woke yesterday with no headache, so I did a few pushups and voila... headaches... Not the best way to do it, but I figure doing all these dang tests with symptoms is far more accurate than without...

My first appointment last week was with a physiatrist... He seem surprised I hadn't been referred to anyone by my own specialist except massage therapy. This was repeated by the neuropsych yesterday, and the neurologist today. I am frustrated and upset. I knew I wouldn't fare as well on the tests with headaches, but I was surprised how badly I did do... Short term memory was horrible, and on the first go through of fifty pairs of images I got really frustrated that I could barely remember any of the originals. The second run through was better, but I am not sure by how much. The test that was the worst was the five abstract shapes. I couldn't remember those AT ALL. I was in tears I was so frustrated.

NP indicated I should be seeing someone to help with headaches and concentration, neuro said the same thing. I cried when I told the neurologist today that I would take any therapy they recommended... that I was afraid that now I've hit the year mark that I would basically stay this way... his reply "Yes, with proper therapy where you are at a year is likely where you would stay, but it's clear that you've not had the proper treatment at all..."

I have one more meeting with a physiotherapist... Hoping he is as supportive as the other reviewers have been, and that any recommendations for therapy are passed on to me so I can finally get on with recovery...

don't get me wrong, I am not horrible anymore. For the most part, as long as I have a sedentary lifestyle I am good. No lifting, no walks, no exercise. I can read (although slower than I used to be), I can write (again takes me much longer to get my thoughts out on paper), and I am generally headache free. But this is no normal life. I don't do the groceries, my sex life is radically different, I've gained 40 lbs (lost ten by adding in a lot of fibre, so only 30 more to lose), and I'm always worried that someone is watching thinking "Oh, she can do that but not work?" It's frustrating. I want my life back. I want to be as normal as I can.

Anyways, all three reviewers to date have said they will recommend more therapy, so I am thrilled. I just pray something works and that I can gradually get even a little closer to "normal".