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In Remembrance
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: SE Kansas.
Posts: 374
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In Remembrance
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: SE Kansas.
Posts: 374
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I first heard this joke in 1967 and knew instantly that it is one of the best three jokes I have ever heard. I still think of it that way today, even though it is a total metaphor for my life. I still laugh, but now I laugh through the tears.
Mr Jones had worked hard for the company and was finally rewarded with a promotion and bump in salary. He bought a new car, the first NEW car he had ever bought. He was driving to the insurance company when a gust of wind blew a newspaper over his windshield.
After the firemen extricated him from the car; after looking at what had once been a $28,000 dream come true and was now litter that he had to pay to have it removed, Jones shrugged: "It's only a car" he told himself.
He knew the smoldering pile of wood was his house even before the taxi dropped him off. He wandered around, kicking rubble and charcoal out of the way once in a while, then noticed the note pinned to the front door. It was charred but readable:
"Dear Jones; while you were busy with that damn company and your career, I met a man who cares about me. I'm taking my kids with me. Sincerely; your ex-wife, Mrs Jones (soon to be Smith)."
Jones shrugged. "I'm only 45, I can build a new life" he told himself.
He took his share of the insurance payout and bought a desert island. No more cars, wives, children, jobs; life would be good.
During the next 15 years, Jones learned everything there is to know about crops that grow on islands. He had the best fruit and vegetables south of Hawaii, and ships would regularly drop anchor and but stuff.
Jones was making tons of money, but he hadn't thought of building a bank on his island so the best he could do was stash the money under the bed. The pile got so high he ended up buying a bunk bed.
Then one dark morning the biggest typhoon to ever hit the Pacific Ocean chose his island. Yup, when Jones came to, he was floating in the water and there was no land anyplace. His island had sunk.
After swimming 9 miles, Jones finally dragged his body onto a beach. Spitting out sand, salt water and seaweed, Jones looked up at Heaven.
"Why?" He asked. "Why me? Why always me?"
The sun reappeared from behind a cloud; rays of sunbeams splashed his body as he lay there.... Then a VOICE
I DUNNO JONES....THERE'S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT YOU THAT ****** ME OFF.
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The great end of life is not knowldege but action. T. H. Huxley
When in doubt, ask: What would Jimmy Buffett do?
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Last edited by Vicc; 05-08-2007 at 07:08 PM.
Reason: Make it Better
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