Hi Mark, Thank you for the post. I don't talk much about it so it may take me a few posts to answer these questions. I try to keep in mind talking about these things helps. Perhaps I should start with what happened, in a nutshell. I was 9 months pregnant with our first born son when my husband was in a dirt bike accident at track. He flew off his bike over a jump and it hit him in the back of the head. He was rushed to a nearby hospital. He suffered brain swelling, 6-7 bleeds, damage to his brainstem and frontal lobe. He was unresponsive for days and they were unsure if he would make it. He was in ICU for 3 weeks then 2 weeks in an in hospital rehab then 2 months at Winnways, an out-patient all day rehab facility. Given everything he is a walking miracle. His neurosurgen literally had tears in his eyes when he started opening his eyes. He does not remember any of this. I on the otherhad have flashbacks on a daily basis of everything him and I went through. I can't make them stop.

His progress: He is doing so well that he is back at work and has his drivers license back. In my eyes his struggles are short term memory, body temperature regulation difficulties,depression, interpersonal skills, being extremely deffensive and easily frustrated, lack of perpective of others. Also, when he has done too much in a day his head tremors return. He will not take any medication, hates doctors now and will not talk to a psychologist. He is not receiving any care as of a few months ago.

He rarely talks to me or anyone about his difficuties. I worry about him constantly. I know it is hard for him to verbalize his emotions. Friends tell me "that's guys for you." but he was different. I was so lucky to have a guy that could talk to me for hours about our feelings, etc. He seems depressed and I hurt because I can't just magically make him better. I feel like I have lost him but he's right here too. Like he's an arm length away and I just can't reach him. I do have a lot of patience, this is definitely one of my strongst qualities and I sure am using it now. I just wish I had my husband back. I think just having people to talk to about it who can relate to what I am and he is going through would be helpful. I get so mad when people comment how strong I WAS or how much I WENT through. They have no idea it is all still very much in the present for me.

Thank you for listening.