Stacyrose,

I understand what you are going through. My wife has gone through much of the same. It would help if he was evaluated with a NeuroPsychological Assessment. These are diagnostic tools done by NeuroPsychologists. The value is not as much for treatment as it is so HE can understand what he is like now. It will hopefully help him helpo himself.

The most likely is demonstrating a common TBI symptom called flat affect. This is where he emotions become flat, no empathy or any emotional expression. He may also have damage to the part of his brain that perceives emotion in others. Neither of these need to continue if he is willing to understand that they are a result of the injury and not just an expression of himself.

I had to learn to 'fake' emotional expression. Emotions that do not flow naturally can still be expressed by a disciplined choice. Libido can also be different. As you say, you need support to understand these issues. It will be a big help if you can find a Brain Injury Support Group that has a caregivers' subgroup. Meeting others in the same situation can at least let you know you are not alone.

If you want, I can connect you to my wife by email. She is very good at understanding these issues. She has lived with me for 33 years, 20 of them before she understood my brain injury issues. When you have access to Private Messaging or Email you can contact me privately. The link is found by a right click on my screen name. A drop down box will show and you can select PM or email.

How old is your little one now ? I have a 6 month old grand child that is finally learning to open up to others. My daughter is at work all day so she clings to her when she has her. This is a fun age as they start to interact more with her surroundings.

Why does he object to medications ? He might benefit from an anti-seizure med for his tremors. There are some that have little to no side effects. I take gabapentin to settle my tremors and body jerks.

The defensiveness can be due to mental rigidity (stubbornness caused by the injury) or a tendency for outbursts (also injury related). Sometimes, it is due to feeling overwhelmed with issues. We don't just get overwhelmed with issues, we often end up with lifetime subscriptions. It can help if you only try to discuss one issue at a time. His brain may not be able to juggle to concepts at the same time. You may have to learn this for yourself then slowly teach it to him.

Check out the Vitamins thread. It will be a big help for both of you. The injured brain has a severe need for good nutrition.

There is lots more I can say but some may be best coming from my wife.

My best to you three.