I've had CRPS for almost two years. I got it after a knee scope and it's now throughout my left leg and foot, and within the last two months it's started in my left arm.

I used to be so active. I payed a lot of tennis, ran up the hill with my kids, was proud of the fact that I wasn't growing old before I needed to, like so many mums I saw... Now I shuffle round my home hanging on to walls and furniture, I have crutches for anything outside the house but can only walk for a few minutes before the pain stops me. I have a wheelchair for everything else. I am not me any more.

I watched a thing on tv today, and I suddenly realised that I have no real friends now. I have a few mates, but no one really close. I have one friend who pops round sometimes for a cuppa, but she's very independent and has plenty of other friends from before we met. So many people I thought were my friends have just drifted away....they just aren't there now. They don't call, don't visit, and it turns out they weren't friends at all.

I feel such a burden. Nobody really wants to go anywhere with me because they need to help me with my chair, my crutches, my pain. I try to be cheerful when I'm out, I have a 'chair-face' that I put on, I'm chirpy and smiley and positive, I don't want to be someone other people see and feel sorry for. But it's still a drag for my family and anyone else. And I hate it. I hate being this person that people avoid.

Does anyone else feel like this? Please say. I need to know I'm not as alone as I feel. Most days I'm ok, I'm positive and I do stuff. Today it's just all caving in on me a bit and I feel so alone with this gnawing, biting, savage condition.

I send anyone who reads this a (((hug))) because then I've got one myself

Thanks.

Bram.